Back to the beginning
So after 12 months of wellness, I've ended up back where I was at the beginning, in hospital. It's not where I wanted to be, but I realise it is where I need to be. Two days ago I stepped onto the road. My emotional pain became so great that I was willing to risk my life to end it. If it wasn't for my mum grabbing the neck of my cardigan to pull me back onto the curb I could be dead now, and I certainly don't want to die. People might read this and think 'why would you step into traffic if you don't want to die?'. The thing is when your emotional pain is so great, the idea that you can replace it with physical pain is sometimes too enticing. In that moment of intense emotional anguish, physical pain, even death, doesn't seem so scary. When reflecting later on what I had done, it seemed as if someone else had taken over my body. It wasn't me at that moment. The girl who stepped onto the road had forgotten how important she was. That she was ...