Invisible Illness Ness

While in hospital I was reintroduced to the idea of gratitude. It was a term I had heard before, but I'd never really adopted. I don't know why because I have so much to be grateful for; we all do, and when you have anxiety or depression, it is especially important to remember what you are grateful for, otherwise, we get lost in the endless negativity that is our minds. Lisa Firestone from Psychology Today  argues that gratitude is possibly the most important element to finding success and happiness in the modern day. As she says "Knowing what we appreciate in life means knowing who we are, what matters to us and what makes each day worthwhile. Paying attention to what we feel grateful for puts us in a positive frame of mind. It connects us to the world around us and to ourselves".  In fact, research shows that being grateful is a universally rewarding method to feel more content and fulfilled. Scientific studies have shown that gratitude can create increased...

The last month or so has seen me have the worst relapse I've had since I was a teenager (and some of those years were bad!). I hesitated to write this post because I am so ashamed and embarrassed at what has happened the past few weeks, I wasn't sure sharing it was the best idea. However, I think it's important to share my experiences to show other people who are going through similar things that they need to speak out to get the best help possible. Two weeks ago now following a month of major depression, I had a massive psychotic break. I was drinking at home with Will and I decided after two bottles of wine that I needed more, so I started having tequila shots. I knew I'd had enough and should stop, but I was on such a high I felt like I needed to continue it. Will tried to stop me and I got angry. My daughter Ivy overheard and came into our bedroom. By all accounts, I put her back to bed before I bolted out the door on a -3 degree night in nothing but my negligee. ...